(Washington DC) The Pentagon announced today a new fighting force established to bring a quick end to the Iraq War and future conflicts in the region. The creation of a highly trained, covert group of 500 Americans called, United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF) is to be deployed Monday.

These Southern boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music, Nascar or Jesus.

5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

Thanks to Spike for reporting on this important story.