On holiday in Europe, Bert noticed a marble column in a church in Rome with
a golden telephone on it. As a young priest passed by, Bert asked who the
telephone was for. The priest told him it was a direct line to Heaven, and
if he’d like to call, it would be a thousand dollars. Bert was amazed, but
declined the offer.

Throughout Europe Bert kept seeing the same golden telephone on a marble
column. At each, he asked about it and the answer was always the same: a
direct line to Heaven and he could call for a thousand dollars.

Bert finished his tour in Ireland . He decided to attend Mass at a local
village church. When he walked in the door he noticed the golden telephone,
but underneath it there was a sign stating: DIRECT LINE TO HEAVEN,
25 cents, “Father,” he said, “I have been all over Europe and in all the
cathedrals I visited, I’ve seen telephones exactly like this one but the
price is always a thousand dollars. Why is it that this one is only 25
cents?”

The priest smiled and said, “Son, You’re in Ireland now, tis a local call.”